You are soooo hot

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  You are soooo hot | 2018

You are soooo hot was a special performative sauna event by Valentýna Janů as part of A Guiding Dog for a Blind Dog show at Center for Contemporary Art FUTURA in Prague (curated by Lukas Hofmann). 6 x 15 minutes happenings in the space of iSauna Sokol Vinohrady. Performed by the artist Maria Gorodeckaya & folklore choir LADA & linguist doc. RNDr. Tomáš Hoskovec & lecture about the heart by Loono & flutist Yanina Alachnovič & artist Valentýna Janů //////// text by Nat Marcus: Every 15 minutes another rose is shot into space. The volatile oils shift in antigravity, and Chanel’s been branding it. Thus their pop-up bathhouse smells like what I guess a rose does floating like that; the perfume’s constantly vaporized into the saunas and the main echoing chamber, a turning barrel of steam. Your reflection lingers in the slick tiling. I’m ascending, wet, to the wooden sauna, clothed only in vapor, and no one cares. The bathhouse follows the same ritual formats as a nightclub. My eyes start glazing, the gaze coils, the clubgirl comes to me again like a minor deity notating my steps, all my devices disembodied, in the cloud, I’m taking shots of rum out empty PrEP bottles, peeling murals of Tom of Finland characters over the arches. I catch your outline again, who knows how many hours later, in a certain density of lilac steam, then again in the saline chamber, when I open my eyes underwater, and through their burning, there you are floating, chromosomal, undecided. The floor is slippery when I come out. We go home emptied, more like a mesh of pores than a solid object. My hair’s wet, smells like squid ink and lavender.