Gallery of Miloš Zeman

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  Gallery of Miloš Zeman | 2016

The exhibitions so far: //The Celebration of the next five-year plan// In the Studio of Photography we were tasked to organise an exhibition in the Galerie Semestr. At the time I considered the task given to be stupid and therefore I decided to force my own Gallery in there, which took a form of a hybrid between an exhibition, concert and satanic rite and the date of exhibition also corresponded with president´s Miloš Zeman´s second inauguration. Having acquired the used ballots of Miloš Zeman, I created a paper pentagram on the ground and placed a totem in its centre in a form of steel cabinet with raw meat and pig´s blood inside. The totem boasted the single official presidential portrait and was encircled by candles. The Galerie Semestr is situated next to the darkroom which was lit by the red light and there I placed refreshments: Vysočina salami and the red wine. The wine was spiked with a small amount of pig´s blood so unaware visitors would be unable to discern its taste. Following the introduction, the music band Evropská Unie, of which I am a member, gathered around the totem. Each member had their own self-made mask. The black monk, infant carrying a hydrogen bomb on its back, insect trumpeter, Devil, biker with a burning horn on his forehead and Death began to worship the totem while using it as an instrument. The bangs and creaking were accompanied by a single plugged-in instrument: The two-handed saw. At the certain moment, I set fire below the portrait and proceeded to burn the ballots while fumigating the president. The concert was over when I accidentally caught fire in my devil mask. Then we received communion under both kinds in form of meat and blood from the totem that had been imbibing smoke and music. Since then the direction of the Gallery of Miloš Zeman has been exclusively politically-occult................................................................................................................ //Voodoo Wellness of Miloš Zeman// We were asked to present our artworks in the showcase of Tři ocásci (a vegan café favoured by ecoterrorists) and I do not like militant vegans and such showcases at all. Using a jackhammer we made a small dent in concrete, approximately in the middle of the room, put a poster into the showcase (various diplomas were added later) and held a marbles tournament. The participants could choose between the red and the blue marble. If a player using the red marble won, Miloš Zeman (in the form of voodoo-doll) was supposed to meet with some kind of misfortune. If the blue marble player won, the doll was blessed with a wellness procedure. The doll was made of a cow´s leg, chicken wings, flayed rabbit´s head and wires. The tournament was very dramatic and Miloš was covered with salt, fed with cigarette stubs, beaten with a hammer but also massaged, bathed in fragrant oils and so on and so forth. The victory was claimed by the wellness team and president´s ill fortune has been averted. The best player of the tournament was supposed to be awarded with the doll of Miloš, however the winner was a vegan and refused to even touch it. The lucky player on the second place received a bottle of Becherovka and the third one was awarded with a bag of marbles. The consolation prize for the worst player was the work of art – a nice portrait of crucified Miloš Zeman. As a matter of interest, the day after the tournament media informed that the president´s state of health is supposedly getting better............................................................................ //Painters´s exhibition at the Gallery of Miloš Zeman// The exhibition included over twenty of exhibitors and musicians. The artists were asked to display works they are ashamed of or just to bring some rubbish. The event was organised due to a fact that the classmates from the design studio were not able to throw a proper Christmas party, this was one was a success, however. A jazz bar was set up and a sword and a katana were swallowed, people engaged in a slow-motion pogo dance, the whole room was crammed with black boxes during the exhibition of Václav and various other mischiefs took place as well. For the first time ever, I have put the enigmatic hypnotic power of mandala porn to use, when I subconsciously bombarded the visitors with it. The ten grand I owed to the University for two years after the party, were absolutely worth it.......................................................................................................................................... //The clinical death of Gallery of Miloš Zeman// The logical follow-up of Metabo and Martin Hurych´s exhibition: Visualise a dark room with two bells facing each other in which visitors stood in complete darkness and rang the holy hell of their heads; Or in other words: Imagine the way how binaural headphones work but in a greater scope. After the ringing “procedure”, visitors left the exhibition with their moods changed significantly. The exhibition´s flyer was illegible after the print. No one was invited to the exhibition and there was also no vernissage. The exposition was open for two weeks during which it welcomed only random passers-by...................................................................................................................................... //Metabo – Work, don´t play// The exhibition takes name after the studio´s saw and the subtitle is the motto of the company that produces the tool. It took place inside the Studio of Environment on Údolní street. In a small room I displayed my nativistic paintings of dreamscapes and the centre of the room was dominated by the mighty Metabo saw. When a sufficient number of people arrived (it needs to mentioned that there was an open day), I delivered an introductory speech that mainly concerned the studio itself and how it is one of the best equipped studios of the University. The showcase of Metabo took place after the speech and we sawed whatever we could. The roaring of Metabo was beautifully complemented by heavily-distorted guitar playing of Martin Hurych. Neither paintings nor the visitors were paid any attention: Work, don´t play.